Pondering

I watched the beach and heard the waves some time ago..in some place where it seems so sad (Desaru Malaysia)...I never experienced that in the Philippines...because everyone has this happy aura with them back home.

Anyway, I usually have this soothing feeling whenever I'm near the open sea..it suddenly feels like I'm just an insignificant speck in the vast universe/world. I always wanted to fulfill something bigger than myself but I haven't found it. Guess I envy other people when they say they found their calling/mission in life.

"What is mine?"

Working more for me is not a purpose but only a way to earn money...traveling for me is a way to satisfy my curiosity and adventurous spirit, I have no talent, no unusual skill I can contribute to the world..so I often feel small.
I have this itching feeling of being useless (not really about myself to my work/personal life) but more on my purpose in this world. Am I weird? I see a big whole rather than just mind my own life. I can' t even openly tell that to people because they would think of me as weird/bizarre. So normally, people can go on with their life just minding their own progress?

We get to be born, we get to eat, walk, laugh, be fed up, watch nonsense, get married, have kids, have problems, buy a house, buy cars, buy expensive good then what?? Die?

I know people have Faith to turn to in times like this but maybe it isn't for me yet. Let's see a few years from now....maybe I can find my purpose.